Showing posts with label writing.room 18. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing.room 18. Show all posts
Wednesday, 27 November 2019
Thursday, 7 March 2019
camp writing - E-Portfolio
Please copy and paste the blue text onto a blog post and publish your writing underneath.
Try and find a photo from the folder that you can add to your writing.
Motivation:
Camp Experiences
Learning Objectives:
Level 3
- Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
- Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
- Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
- Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
Level 4
- Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
- Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
- Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
- Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
Learning goals:
- To hook the reader in with an interesting beginning
- A variety of sentence starters
- A variety of sentence lengths
- Edit and rework
- Effective peer checking and feedback
Dear mum and dad
Hi, its kiriama just here writing to you to tell you that I am really enjoying waipara boys brigade
camp.today we did raft building me ,elenoa, Ruby Hollee and Taluala made a raft and we bet the boys team, we had made it to the end of the water whole and the boys were only 1/4 of the way. we jumped in after, it was freezing cold like a ice cube.i touched the bottom it was rockey on the deep cold bottom.I jumped off the big rope swing and my heart was racing so fast as i let goof the dirty rope swing.I release I let go to early and almost hit the concert bar.me and Elenoa saw a rope we tugged at it and it was connected to a net we thought there was an eel in it but it was just a rock.if i could choose to come back to this camp i defiantly come back
from kiri xx
Teacher Comment: Kiriama - I like the way you have used a range of sentence structures in your writing. You have chosen some descriptive language to paint a picture in the readers mind.
Your next step is to try and set your writing out using paragraphs.
camp.today we did raft building me ,elenoa, Ruby Hollee and Taluala made a raft and we bet the boys team, we had made it to the end of the water whole and the boys were only 1/4 of the way. we jumped in after, it was freezing cold like a ice cube.i touched the bottom it was rockey on the deep cold bottom.I jumped off the big rope swing and my heart was racing so fast as i let goof the dirty rope swing.I release I let go to early and almost hit the concert bar.me and Elenoa saw a rope we tugged at it and it was connected to a net we thought there was an eel in it but it was just a rock.if i could choose to come back to this camp i defiantly come back
from kiri xx
Teacher Comment: Kiriama - I like the way you have used a range of sentence structures in your writing. You have chosen some descriptive language to paint a picture in the readers mind.
Your next step is to try and set your writing out using paragraphs.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)